Build influence by focusing on inclusion

Building influence in cross-functional relationships sometimes feels like you're negotiating compromise among two year olds about what to do for dinner. Different folks have priorities that don't align, some maybe don't want to participate at all, and some might not want to participate unless they get to pick the menu.

Finding your way to working across teams and exerting influence on the direction of projects starts with listening and  understanding folks' competing concerns. Here are two techniques for digging in to cross-functional concerns to build influence.

Start projects wide, and narrow when you can

If you feel tempted to narrow down the list of participants or consulted teams, don't. Think about the long haul. You want to build relationships with teams so that they trust you're acting in everyone's best interests.

When defining project scope, have discovery conversations with leaders even if you don't think they'll need to participate. Explain the goal of the project, outline any components that might impact their team or require participation from their team, and ask what other elements you might not have thought of yet. Listen with an open mind, and ask about their ability to participate, also. Would they prefer not to participate actively but to be included in a weekly update call so they can follow along? Would they like to be notified when you hit certain milestones?

Including and consulting leads from teams you might be tempted to omit (to save time, save conversation, or save cooks in the kitchen) usually has two impacts you don't want. It can create more work in the end when folks haven't had opportunities to participate along the way, and it can burn relationships and trust that you'll need for your next project, when you might need more active participation from the team you left out last time.

There are times you'll find that folks want to participate more than you find necessary. They might want to be present in meetings that you feel don't affect them or they might want to be involved in making decisions where they are ancillary to the point. Before you do anything, validate your assumptions. Ask with an open mind—why do they wish to participate? What are they hoping to get out of attending? 

Repeat what you hear

Often in professional conflict the underlying concern is that folks don't feel heard. For example, they have 25 different projects already on the go and they feel resentful that more projects keep coming their way. Or perhaps they're being asked to own additional ongoing responsibilities but they are not receiving additional resources to support that work. Or they had a horrible time collaborating with another team last time and they want to make sure those experiences aren't repeated.

Start by hearing folks out. Ideally in an open discussion with everyone present, but you may need some smaller discussions if topics are sensitive. Ask folks what they have heard they're being asked to do, and ask them to outline their concerns. Ask them if they've shared these concerns with their own team leadership, and if not, if they feel comfortable doing so.

Repeat back what you are hearing, attempting to summarize and focus on key points the team has outlined. Do the same with any other groups in conflict or in difficulty in the project before kicking into the solution-finding phase.

Here's what you've achieved: you've given folks a chance to be heard. You've empowered them to state their needs and propose solutions, while creating a space where others can listen and ask questions.

Humans are empathetic. Once you've opened a space to talk through concerns, sometimes solutions feel obvious. Sometimes negotiating gets easier when folks hear each others' concerns and can connect in a human setting. And sometimes if there isn't a solution— i.e. there really aren't resources to do what you want to do—-you can bring back a fully-explored problem to senior executives when you ask for more resources or a different timeline. You've done your homework, so you're building trust with your project teams but also with your leadership, who will see you've done the work to explore potential solutions in depth, and that you've ideally achieved consensus around the proposed next steps, whether it's hiring contractors, reducing scope, or extending the timeline.

Create space to solve problems

These two approaches have something in common: you’re embracing a leadership role in building connectiong and resolving conflict, while honoring the needs of your colleagues.